The Hacienda Asphalt

08/29/2024

Chlorophyll, chlorophyll. I'm drinking a kale shake right now. I've been having dreams about products I'd like to purchase, recently. It's funny that my tendency for impulsive purchases have so infected my mind that it manifests in my raw subconscious. I've struggled with OCD since the age of 12, with this being it's most recent manifestation. Is this better than what I had? My mind used to be overwhelmed with abstract associative dogma and ritual... but at least it was original. People couldn't help but see under the veneer every time I threw water on a spot a cursed thing would touch me, or every time my mouth would fill with spittle for thinking ugly thoughts and it would apex into a gelatinous mass on the concrete. I'd like to think that this era of illness will soon pass, but the framing is different. People like it when you buy things, people depend on you buying things, and people will make sure you buy things.

I can already feel myself starting to slack on the site. I was busy yesterday, but in my heart I can feel the passion fading, like it usually does. Hope this doesn't become another failure monument!

Pray for my finances and I'll pray for you. :P